How to win friends and influence people

How to Win Friends and Influence People
( Guidelines from Dale Carnegie's " How to win friends and influence people" )
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six ways to make people like you
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
Win people to your way of thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html )
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
( Guidelines from Dale Carnegie's "How to stop worrying and start living" )
Fundamental facts you should know about worry
If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the futures. Just live each day u ntil bedtime.
The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."
Basic techniques in analyzing worry
Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
What is the problem?
What is the cause of the problem?
What are all possible solutions?
What is the best solution?
How to break the worry habit before it breaks you
Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers."
Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happines.
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness
Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.

Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
Count your blessings--not your troubles!
Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."
The perfect way to conquer worry
Prayer
How to keep from worrying about criticism
Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirits high
Rest before you get tired.
Learn to relax at your work.
Learn to relax at home.
Apply these four good workings habits:
Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
Do things in the order of their importance.
When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/stop-worry.html )
The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking
( Guidelines from Dorothy Carnegie's book based on Dale Carnegie's "Public speaking and influencing men in business" )
Fundamentals of Effective Speaking
1. Acquiring the Basic Skills
Take heart from the experience of others
Keep your goal before you
Predetermine your mind to success
Seize every opportunity to practice
2. Developing Confidence
Get the facts about fear of speaking in public
Prepare in the proper way
Predetermine your mind to success
Act confident
3. Speaking Effectively the Quick and Easy Way
Speaking about something you have earned the right to talk about through experience or study
Be sure you are excited about your subject
Be eager to share your talk with your listeners
Speech, Speaker, and Audience
4. Earning the Right to Talk
Limit your subject
Develop reserve power
Fill your talk with illustrations and examples
Use concrete, familiar words that create pictures
5. Vitalizing the Talk
Choose subjects you are earnest about
Relive the Feelings you have about your topic
Act in earnest
6. Sharing the Talk with the Audience
Talk in terms of your listeners' interests
Give honest, sincere appreciation
Identify yourself with the audience
Make your audience a partner in your talk
Play yourself down
The Purpose of Prepared and Impromptu Talks
7. Making the Short Talk to Get Action
Give your example, an incident from your life
State your point, what you want the audience to do
Give the reason or benefit the audience may expect
8. Making the Talk to Inform
Restrict your subject to fit the time at your disposal
Arrange your ideas in sequence
Enumerate your points as you make them
Compare the strange with the familiar
Use visual aids
9. Making the Talk to Convince
Win confidence by deserving it
Get a Yes-response
Speakin with contagious enthusiasm
Show respect and affection for your audience
Begin in a friendly way
10. Making Impromptu Talks
Practice impromptu speaking
Be mentally ready to speak impromptu
Get into an example immediately
Speak with animation and force
Use the principle of the Here and the Now
Don't talk impromptu--Give an impromptu talk
The Art of Communicating
11. Delivering the Talk
Crash through your shell of self-consciousness
Don't try to imitate others--Be yourself
Converse with your audience
Put your heart into your speaking
Practice making your voice strong and flexible
The Challenge of Effective Speaking
12. Introducing Speakers, Presenting and Accepting Awards
Thoroughly prepare what you are going to say
Follow the T-I-S Formula
Be enthusiastic
Thoroughly prepare the talk of presentation
Express your sincere feelings in the talk of acceptance
13. Organizing the Longer Talk
Get attention immediately
Avoid getting unfavorable attention
Support your main ideas
Appeal for action
14. Applying What You Have Learned
Use specific detail in everyday conversation
Use effective speaking techniques in your job
Seek Opportunities to speak in public
You must persist
Keep the certainty of reward before you
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/easy-speaking.html )
Don't Grow Old - Grow Up!
( Guidelines from Dorothy Carnegie's book )
The first step toward maturity - Responsibility
Don't kick the Chair. Be willing to account for yourself; don't blame others.
Damn the Handicaps! - Full Speed Ahead. Don't make a handicap an excuse for failure.
Five Ways to Ditch Disaster:
Accept the inevitable; give time a chance.
Take action against trouble.
Concentrate on helping others.
Use all of life while you have it.
Count your blessings.< href="http://www.largelypositive.com/Pages/SelfEsteem.html">http://www.largelypositive.com/Pages/SelfEsteem.html )
"How To Be Happy"
1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things. ~
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. ~
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people. ~
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you. ~
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself. ~
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt. ~
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones. ~
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy. ~
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places. ~
10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things. ~
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself. ~
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy. ~- Robert Louis Stevenson( Courtesy: http://members.tripod.com/~blueladycat/how2bhappy.html )
Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.
A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if hecould ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered. Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health , time with our family and to appreciate the surroundingbeautyand the hobbies we love.One day when we look back , we will realize that we don't really needthatmuch, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition . Lifeisdefinitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us livingso asto enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of WorkandPlay, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want tobalanceyour Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able tocompromisebut always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts.Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim ofhumanexistence.So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Lifeisfragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balancedlifestyle and enjoy Life!
Watch your thoughts ; they become words.Watch your words ; they become actions.Watch your actions ; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character .Watch your character; it becomes your destiny .
Personal Growth - Deciphering Failure, Success - How to be a Better & Stronger Person ? Overcoming Crisis Bad Habits, HOW to be Healthy?
Realize Your Power - Estimating your worth?
Take a small seed in your hand and look at it. It appears so lifeless, tiny and almost insignificant. But with some soil, water, sun heat, air and the fusion of cosmic spark - that little seed transforms into something thousands of times bigger than itself.Note the scale and see that there is a large tree hidden in that small seed. Quite similarly, in your almost invisible, quasi-forgotten soul - lies a huge universe that is hidden and inherent like tree in the seed.You are capable to do almost anything you can dream of; you carry the whole universal energy in and around you. Many of the low times in life, we think ourselves worthless, incapacitated, virtually enslaved and at times surprised 'man what am I doing here? what is our mission on this earth etc'.I inform you - You do have an important mission and you are already contributing to the visible world - through your talent, hard work and pool of energy. Never under-estimate yourself nor feel lonely. Your world is created by your work and creativity. You only have to act - the BEST you can, the real DOER is the creator - who like a prompter of theatre delivers you the script.
Something that holds your growth? IS IT FEAR?When you get up in the morning - make a point that you get up like a lion - sure of yourself, bold and fearless. Before that you may have to work on the fear.Fear starts from 1st day of life, out of insecurities or of feelings of losing what you have. Fear is NEVER of unknown but the known and what you 'possess'.You fear, of what you already KNOW quite well. Fear resides in deep pockets of mind like a bug - hidden but lively. Fear can be one of the basic reasons of failures of life.Fear creates walls around us, forces us to take incorrect decisions, on the other hand, fearlessness will give you boldness, peace, preserve energy.BUT NEVER run from fear - running from it IS real fear. Stop, think, and follow the track of fear back in your mind's archives. Find it, fac9+9 deal with it now.You must REMOVE it by surgery of deep meditation, by ceasing all knowledge stored in mind. I Repeat that fear resides in knowledge not in the unknown. Your life will be on the super fast track after this silent process.
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How to Be Happy!
Don't ever stop dreaming your dreams;they're a very essential part of you.
Do whatever you can to make them areality by the course you take,the plans you make,and all the things you do.
Don't dwell on past mistakes;leave yesterday behind you ---along with any of its problems,worries, and doubts.
Do realize you can't change the past,but just ahead is the future ---and you can do something about that.
Don't try to accomplish everything at once;life can be difficult enough ---without adding frustration to the list.
Do travel one step at a time,and reach for one goal at a time.That's the way to find outwhat real accomplishment is.
Don't be afraid to do the impossible,even if others don't think you'll succeed.
Do remember that history is filled withincredible accomplishments of those whowere foolish enough ..... to believe.
Don't forget that there are so manythings that are wonderful, rare,and unique about you.
And do remember that if you can searchwithin and find a smile .....That smile will always be a reflectionof the way people feel ..... about YOU!
( Courtesy: http://www.linota-cards.com )
HARE & TORTOISE
This is quite interesting. End part is very much interestingA Hare and a Tortoise live in Ahmedabad. They are good friends and like all good friends, sometimes have a dig at each other. One day, in a light mood the Hareridiculed the Tortoise for his slow pace. The Tortoise reacted by challenging the Hare for a race between Paldi to Navarangpura.On the scheduled day and time the two assemble at the starting line and start the race. The Hare dashes off the start line like a flash. After crossing the midwaymark, he feels that a short nap would do no harm. The short nap turned out to be a bit too long. Meanwhile the Tortoise crosses the Hare and reaches the destination. The Hare wakes from the slumber, oblivious of the time, and dashes off towards the finish. To his dismay he finds the Tortoise having anap at the finish line. ("Slow and steady wins the race.") The story does not end here.....The Hare goes home and soon understands that complacency and overconfidence were the reasons of his defeat. He vows not to repeat the mistake again. Hethen invites the Tortoise for another race. The Tortoise agrees to his friend's request.They meet at the scheduled day and time at the starting point. The race starts. This time the Hare dashes off to the finishing line without taking abreak and wins the race comfortably. ("Fast and steady wins the race"). The story does not end here.....The Tortoise goes home and thinks hard. He was aware that the Hare cannot be defeated in speed. He then ponders over his core competence. At last he finds asolution and invites the Hare to another race. This time the course is changed. It is from Paldi to Airport. The Hare agrees.At the scheduled day and time the two meet at the start line and the race begins. The Hare dashes off like a flash. Soon he arrives at the banks of river Sabarmati and is overwhelmed by a sense of dejection as he did not know how to swim. The Tortoise comes to the bank, looks at the Hare with sympathy and coolly gets into the water. He swims to the other side, goes to the airport and comes back. ("Core competence wins the race.") But the story does not end here.....Both the friends decide it was enough of racing against each other. Why not think hard and find a way by which they together could travel from Paldi to airport at the minimum possible time. At the end of a brain storming session they come out with a solution and decide to try out the next morning.At the scheduled time they meet at the starting line. The tortoise sits on the back of the Hare. The Hare dashes off form Paldi to the banks of Sabarmati. Therethe Hare gets on the back of the Tortoise and the Tortoise swiftly crosses the river. On reaching the other side the Tortoise again sits on the back of theHare. The Hare runs as fast as he can to the airport. Thus they both reach airport in the fastest possible time. ("Innovation and team work wins the race")




















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Time Management skills are essential for successful people - these are the practical techniques which have helped the leading people in business, sport and public service reach the pinnacles of their careers.
The 80:20 Rule
This is neatly summed up in the Pareto Principle, or the "80:20 Rule". This argues that typically 80% of unfocussed effort generates only 20% of results. The remaining 80% of results are achieved with only 20% of the effort. While the ratio is not always 80:20, this broad pattern of a small proportion of activity generating non-scalar returns recurs so frequently as to be the norm in many areas.
If you work for an organization, calculate how much you cost it each year. Include your salary, payroll taxes, the cost of office space you occupy, equipment and facilities you use, expenses, administrative support, etc. If you are self-employed, work the annual running costs of your business.
If you work normal hours, you will have approximately 200 productive days each year. If you work 7½ hours each day, this equates to 1,500 hours in a year.
From these figures, calculate an hourly rate. This should give a reasonable estimate of how much your time is worth - this may be a surprisingly large amount
When you are deciding whether or not to take a task on, think about this value - are you wasting your or your organization's resources on a low yield task?
Personal Time Management for Busy Managers
by Gerard M Blair
Time passes, quickly. This article looks at the basics of Personal Time Management and describes how the Manager can assume control of this basic resource.
The "Eff" words
The three "Eff" words are [concise OED]:
Effective - having a definite or desired effect
Efficient - productive with minimum waste or effort
Effortless -
seemingly without effort; natural, easy
Personal Time Management is about winning the "Eff" words: making them apply to you and your daily routines.
What is Personal Time Management?
Personal Time Management is about controlling the use of your most valuable (and undervalued) resource. Consider these two questions: what would happen if you spent company money with as few safeguards as you spend company time, when was the last time you scheduled a review of your time allocation?
The absence of Personal Time Management is characterized by last minute rushes to meet dead-lines, meetings which are either double booked or achieve nothing, days which seem somehow to slip unproductively by, crises which loom unexpected from nowhere. This sort of environment leads to inordinate stress and degradation of performance: it must be stopped.
Poor time management is often a symptom of over confidence: techniques which used to work with small projects and workloads are simply reused with large ones. But inefficiencies which were insignificant in the small role are ludicrous in the large. You can not drive a motor bike like a bicycle, nor can you manage a supermarket-chain like a market stall. The demands, the problems and the payoffs for increased efficiency are all larger as your responsibility grows; you must learn to apply proper techniques or be bettered by those who do. Possibly, the reason Time Management is poorly practised is that it so seldom forms a measured part of appraisal and performance review; what many fail to foresee, however, is how intimately it is connected to aspects which do.
Personal Time Management has many facets. Most managers recognize a few, but few recognize them all. There is the simple concept of keeping a well ordered diary and the related idea of planned activity. But beyond these, it is a tool for the systematic ordering of your influence on events, it underpins many other managerial skills such as Effective Delegation and Project Planning.
Personal Time Management is a set of tools which allow you to: eliminate wastage be prepared for meetings refuse excessive workloads monitor project progress allocate resource (time) appropriate to a task's importance ensure that long term projects are not neglected plan each day efficiently plan each week effectively
and to do so simply with a little self-discipline.
Since Personal Time Management is a management process just like any other, it must be planned, monitored and regularly reviewed. In the following sections, we will examine the basic methods and functions of Personal Time Management. Since true understanding depends upons experience, you will be asked to take part by looking at aspects of your own work. If you do not have time to this right now - ask yourself: why not?
Current Practice
What this article is advocating is the adoption of certain practices which will give you greater control over the use and allocation of your primary resource: time. Before we start on the future, it is worth considering the present. This involves the simplistic task of keeping a note of how you spend your time for a suitably long period of time (say a week). I say simplistic since all you have to do is create a simple table, photocopy half-a-dozen copies and carry it around with you filling in a row every time you change activity. After one week, allocate time (start as you mean to go on) to reviewing this log.
Waste Disposal
We are not looking here to create new categories of work to enhance efficiency (that comes later) but simply to eliminate wastage in your current practice. The average IEE Chartered Engineer earns about 27,000 pounds per annum: about 12.50 pounds per hour, say 1 pound every 5 minutes; for how many 5 minute sections of your activity would you have paid a pound? The first step is a critical appraisal of how you spend your time and to question some of your habits. In your time log, identify periods of time which might have been better used.
There are various sources of waste. The most common are social: telephone calls, friends dropping by, conversations around the coffee machine. It would be foolish to eliminate all non-work related activity (we all need a break) but if it's a choice between chatting to Harry in the afternoon and meeting the next pay-related deadline ... Your time log will show you if this is a problem and you might like to do something about it before your boss does.
In your time log, look at each work activity and decide objectively how much time each was worth to you, and compare that with the time you actually spent on it. An afternoon spent polishing an internal memo into a Pulitzer prize winning piece of provocative prose is waste; an hour spent debating the leaving present of a colleague is waste; a minute spent sorting out the paper-clips is waste (unless relaxation). This type of activity will be reduced naturally by managing your own time since you will not allocate time to the trivial. Specifically, if you have a task to do, decide before hand how long it should take and work to that deadline - then move on to the next task.
Another common source of waste stems from delaying work which is unpleasant by finding distractions which are less important or unproductive. Check your log to see if any tasks are being delayed simply because they are dull or difficult.
Time is often wasted in changing between activities. For this reason it is useful to group similar tasks together thus avoiding the start-up delay of each. The time log will show you where these savings can be made. You may want then to initiate a routine which deals with these on a fixed but regular basis.
Doing Subordinate's Work
Having considered what is complete waste, we now turn to what is merely inappropriate. Often it is simpler to do the job yourself. Using the stamp machine to frank your own letters ensures they leave by the next post; writing the missing summary in the latest progress report from your junior is more pleasant than sending it back (and it lets you choose the emphasis). Rubbish!
Large gains can be made by assigning secretarial duties to secretaries: they regularly catch the next post, they type a lot faster than you. Your subordinate should be told about the missing section and told how (and why) to slant it. If you have a task which could be done by a subordinate, use the next occasion to start training him/her to do it instead of doing it yourself - you will need to spend some time monitoring the task thereafter, but far less that in doing it yourself.
Doing the work of Others
A major impact upon your work can be the tendency to help others with their's. Now, in the spirit of an open and harmonious work environment it is obviously desirable that you should be willing to help out - but check your work log and decide how much time you spend on your own work and how much you spend on others'. For instance, if you spend a morning checking the grammar and spelling in the training material related to you last project, then that is waste. Publications should do the proof-reading, that is their job, they are better at it than you; you should deal at the technical level.
The remaining problem is your manager. Consider what periods in your work log were used to perform tasks that your manager either repeated or simply negated by ignoring it or redefining the task, too late. Making your manager efficient is a very difficult task, but where it impinges upon your work and performance you must take the bull by the horns (or whatever) and confront the issue.
Managing your manager may seem a long way from Time Management but no one impacts upon your use of time more than your immediate superior. If a task is ill defined - seek clarification (is that a one page summary or a ten page report?). If seemingly random alterations are asked in your deliverables, ask for the reasons and next time clarify these and similar points at the beginning. If the manager is difficult, try writing a small specification for each task before beginning it and have it agreed. While you can not tactfully hold your manager to this contract if he/she has a change of mind, it will at least cause him/her to consider the issues early on, before you waste your time on false assumptions.
External Appointments
The next stage of Personal Time Management is to start taking control of your time. The first problem is appointments. Start with a simple appointments diary. In this book you will have (or at least should have) a complete list of all your known appointments for the forseeable future. If you have omitted your regular ones (since you remember them anyway) add them now.
Your appointments constitute your interaction with other people; they are the agreed interface between your activities and those of others; they are determined by external obligation. They often fill the diary. Now, be ruthless and eliminate the unnecessary. There may be committees where you can not productively contribute or where a subordinate might be (better) able to participate. There may be long lunches which could be better run as short conference calls. There may be interviews which last three times as long as necessary because they are scheduled for a whole hour. Eliminate the wastage starting today.
The next stage is to add to your diary lists of other, personal activity which will enhance your use of the available time. Consider: what is the most important type of activity to add to your diary? No:- stop reading for a moment and really, consider.
The single most important type of activity is those which will save you time: allocate time to save time, a stitch in time saves days. And most importantly of all, always allocate time to time management: at least five minutes each and every day.
For each appointment left in the diary, consider what actions you might take to ensure that no time is wasted: plan to avoid work by being prepared. Thus, if you are going to a meeting where you will be asked to comment on some report, allocate time to read it so avoiding delays in the meeting and increasing your chances of making the right decision the first time. Consider what actions need to be done before AND what actions must be done to follow-up. Even if the latter is unclear before the event, you must still allocate time to review the outcome and to plan the resulting action. Simply mark in your diary the block of time necessary to do this and, when the time comes, do it.
Scheduling Projects
The most daunting external appointments are deadlines: often, the handover of deliverables. Do you leave the work too late? Is there commonly a final panic towards the end? Are the last few hectic hours often marred by errors? If so, use Personal Time Management.
The basic idea is that your management of personal deadlines should be achieved with exactly the same techniques you would use in a large project:
check the specification - are you sure that you agree on what is to be delivered
break the task down into small sections so that you can estimate the time needed for each, and monitor progress
schedule reviews of your progress (e.g. after each sub-task) so that you can respond quickly to difficulties
Like most management ideas, this is common sense. Some people, however, refute it because in practise they find that it merely shows the lack of time for a project which must be done anyway. This is simply daft! If simple project planning and time management show that the task can not be done, then it will not be done - but by knowing at the start, you have a chance to do something about it.
An impossible deadline affects not only your success but also that of others. Suppose a product is scheduled for release too soon because you agree to deliver too early. Marketing and Sales will prepare customers to expect the product showing why they really need it - but it will not arrive. The customers will be dissatisfied or even lost, the competition will have advanced warning, and all because you agreed to do the impossible.
You can avoid this type of problem. By practising time management, you will always have a clear understanding of how you spend your time and what time is unallocated. If a new task is thrust upon you, you can estimate whether it is practical. The project planning tells you how much time is needed and the time management tells you how much time is available.
There are four ways to deal with impossible deadlines:
Get the deadline extended
Scream for more resources
Get the Deliverable redefined to something practical
State the position clearly so that your boss (and his/her boss) have fair warning
If this simple approach seems unrealistic, consider the alternative. If you have an imposed, but unobtainable, deadline and you accept it; then the outcome is your assured failure. Of course, there is a fifth option: move to a company with realistic schedules.
One defence tactic is to present your superior with a current list of your obligations indicating what impact the new task will have on these, and ask him/her to assign the priorities: "I can't do them all, which should I slip?". Another tactic is to keep a data base of your time estimates and the actual time taken by each task. This will quickly develop into a source of valuable data and increase the accuracy of your planning predictions.
There is no reason why you should respond only to externally imposed deadlines. The slightly shoddy product which you hand-over after the last minute rush (and normally have returned for correction the following week) could easily have been polished if only an extra day had been available - so move your personal deadline forward and allow yourself the luxury of leisured review before the product is shipped.
Taking this a step further, the same sort of review might be applied to the product at each stage of its development so that errors and rework time are reduced. Thus by allocating time to quality review, you save time in rework; and this is all part of project planning supported and monitored by your time management.
Finally, for each activity you should estimate how much time it is worth and allocate only that amount. This critical appraisal may even suggest a different approach or method so that the time matches the task's importance. Beware of perfection, it takes too long - allocate time for "fitness for purpose", then stop.
Monitoring Staff
Your Personal Time Management also effects other people, particularly your subordinates. Planning projects means not only allocating your time but also the distribution of tasks; and this should be done in the same planned, monitored and reviewed manner as your own scheduling.
Any delegated task should be specified with an (agreed) end date. As a Manager, you are responsible for ensuring that the tasks allocated to your subordinates are completed successfully. Thus you should ensure that each task is concluded with a deliverable (for instance, a memo to confirm completion) - you make an entry in your diary to check that this has arrived. Thus, if you agree the task for Tuesday, Wednesday should have an entry in your diary to check the deliverable. This simple device allows you to monitor progress and to initiate action as necessary.
Long term Objectives
There are many long term objectives which the good Manager must achieve, particularly with regard to the development, support and motivation of his/her work-team. Long term objectives have the problem of being important but not urgent; they do not have deadlines, they are distant and remote. For this reason, it is all too easy to ignore them in favour of the urgent and immediate. Clearly a balance must be struck.
The beauty of Time Management is that the balance can be decided objectively (without influence from immediate deadlines) and self-imposed through the use of the diary. Simply, a manager might decide that one hour a week should be devoted to personnel issues and would then allocate a regular block of time to that activity. Of course if the factory is on fire, or World War III is declared, the manager may have to re-allocate this time in a particular week - but barring such crises, this time should then become sacrosanct and always applied to the same, designated purpose.
Similarly, time may be allocated to staff development and training. So if one afternoon a month is deemed to be a suitable allocation, then simply designate the second Thursday (say) of each month and delegate the choice of speakers. The actual time spent in managing this sort of long term objective is small, but without that deliberate planning it will not be achieved.
Once you have implemented Personal Time Management, it is worth using some of that control to augment your own career. Some quiet weekend, you should sketch out your own long term objectives and plan a route to them. As you would any long term objective, allocate time to the necessary sub-tasks and monitor your progress. If you do not plan where you want to go, you are unlikely to get there.
Concluding Remarks.
Personal Time Management is a systematic application of common sense strategies. It requires little effort, yet it promotes efficient work practices by highlighting wastage and it leads to effective use of time by focusing it on your chosen activities. Personal Time Management does not solve your problems; it reveals them, and provides a structure to implement and monitor solutions. It enables you to take control of your own time - how you use it is then up to you.
Gerard M Blair is a Senior Lecturer in VLSI Design at the Department of Electrical Engineering, The University of Edinburgh. His book Starting to Manage: the essential skills is published by Chartwell-Bratt (UK) and the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (USA). He welcomes feedback either by email (gerard@ee.ed.ac.uk) or by any other method found here




















Sleep is a key part of a healthy lifestyle. Like eating right and exercising, sleeping well is essential to feeling your best during the day. It affects how you feel, your relationships, your productivity and your quality of life. While you sleep, your brain goes to work, consolidating the day's learning into memory and reenergizing the body.
Sleep problems affect about 70 million Americans of every age, race, and socioeconomic level, and there is a growing body of scientific evidence showing that inadequate sleep results in tiredness, difficulties with focused attention
Performance in the classroom and in extracurricular activities can suffer if a child does not obtain adequate sleep.
Once a child reaches adolescence, his or her risk of inadequate sleep and its dangers increases.
Just like the correct diet or a safe and effective exercise plan, a good nights sleep is critical to a happy and healthy life. Contrary to popular belief, the body does not "shut down" during sleep, and neither does the mind. While you are off in dreamland, your body continues working around the clock, replacing old cells with new ones and re-energizing your muscles and organs. All that work done while you are asleep is just as vital for a healthy well being as the work your body does during the day.
Light, noise, and temperature can all affect how good your sleep it.
Light: This is one of our body's most powerful indicators of time. Our internal clock will associate the rising sun with "time to wake up"! A dark room is best for sleeping, whether it is day or night.
Noise: Loud random noises can easily disrupt sleep. A low, steady humming of a fan or air filter can make drifting off much easier.
Temperature: A room being too hot or too cold can make sleep a tough thing to do. 60 to 65 degrees Fahrenheit is the ideal temperature for a room you are sleeping in.
Some other tips for getting a good nights sleep are to
- Take Oil bath regularly
- keep regular hours, even on weekends
- develop a ritual before going to bed so your body gets ready for sleep
- exercise regularly to help relieve tension
- cut down on stimulants, such as caffeine
- stop smoking, statistically smokers take longer to fall asleep
( Courtesy: http://www.allsands.com/HowTo/howtogetagoo_you_gn.htm )
CAN'T SLEEP? Here are some tips for better sleep
Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to sleep. Tossing and turning. Your mind is racing, going over everything that happened today. Night noises keep you awake. What can you do? There ARE things you can do! Read on and learn some new tricks to sleep well. These tips are also known as "Sleep Hygiene."
Sleep only when sleepy
This reduces the time you are awake in bed.
If you can't fall asleep within 20 minutes, get up and do something boring until you feel sleepy
Sit quietly in the dark or read the warranty on your refrigerator. Don't expose yourself to bright light while you are up. The light gives cues to your brain that it is time to wake up.
Don't take naps
This will ensure you are tired at bedtime. If you just can't make it through the day without a nap, sleep less than one hour, before 3 pm.
Get up and go to bed the same time every day
Even on weekends! When your sleep cycle has a regular rhythm, you will feel better.
Refrain from exercise at least 4 hours before bedtime
Regular exercise is recommended to help you sleep well, but the timing of the workout is important. Exercising in the morning or early afternoon will not interfere with sleep.
Develop sleep rituals
It is important to give your body cues that it is time to slow down and sleep. Listen to relaxing music, read something soothing for 15 minutes, have a cup of caffeine free tea, do relaxation exercises.
Only use your bed for sleeping
Refrain from using your bed to watch TV, pay bills, do work or reading. So when you go to bed your body knows it is time to sleep. Sex is the only exception.
Stay away from caffeine, nicotine and alcohol at least 4-6 hours before bed
Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants that interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Coffee, tea, cola, cocoa, chocolate and some prescription and non-prescription drugs contain caffeine. Cigarettes and some drugs contain nicotine. Alcohol may seem to help you sleep in the beginning as it slows brain activity, but you will end end up having fragmented sleep.
Have a light snack before bed
If your stomach is too empty, that can interfere with sleep. However, if you eat a heavy meal before bedtime, that can interfere as well. Dairy products and turkey contain tryptophan, which acts as a natural sleep inducer. Tryptophan is probably why a warm glass of milk is sometimes recommended.
Take a hot bath 90 minutes before bedtime
A hot bath will raise your body temperature, but it is the drop in body temperature that may leave you feeling sleepy. Read about the study done on body temperature below.
Trouble Sleeping? Chill Out! - A press release from the journal Sleep about the significance in body temperature before sleep
Make sure your bed and bedroom are quiet and comfortable
A hot room can be uncomfortable. A cooler room along with enough blankets to stay warm is recommended. If light in the early morning bothers you, get a blackout shade or wear a slumber mask. If noise bothers you, wear earplugs or get a "white noise" machine.
Use sunlight to set your biological clock
As soon as you get up in the morning, go outside and turn your face to the sun for 15 minutes
If you continue to have a good nights sleep even after using the tips, you may have a sleep disorder and should consult your family doctor.
( Courtesy: http://www.stanford.edu/~dement/howto.html )
More.......
How to sleep well Tips - Click
SleepNetIncludes information on sleep deprivation, sleep disorders and treatment information.
The Sleep WellIncludes a sleepiness scale test, information on sleep activism, disorders information and support group contacts.
Sleep Medicine Home PageExtensive information including sleep staging, detecting sleep disorders, FAQ sheet and links to research abstracts on the subject.
Sleep DisordersIncludes sleep disorder FAQ and sleep disorders experienced by senior citizens.
HalcionPharmacology information on the drug Triazolam, brand name Halcion.
American Sleep Research InstituteQualitative evaluation and biomechanical research
National Center on sleep disorders research
Sleep Tips from CNN Plus Online
Sleep Clinics Help the Weary Find Relief - CNN
Healthy Sleep - Pacific Coast Feather Co.
Tips for Restful Sleep - Group Health Co-Op
· Sleep: Bulletin board questions and answers by patients for patients.
BSC: The Sleep Well If getting a good night's sleep is your dream, you've come to the right place.
National Sleep Foundation
Sleep/Wake Disorders Canada


































Never Too Late
submitted byPastor Jeff Ables
--The following is a translation from Chinese to English. It was written by a Chinese man who we will call Edward H. It has been translated by Bob Patenaude who is an Independent Baptist Missionary to The Chinese speaking people. Edward was a student in Brother Patenaude's English class while Bob was working in China.
This is a true story and can be used to show that it is never to late to do that which is right.
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As you are growing up some events that happen in the past may have disappeared from your mind. But there are some things that you will never forget. Never!!
One day at the age of twelve, I was gluttonous. One of my friends came to me and said "How about a barbecue?" "Barbecue?" I replied. "Barbecue what? Barbecue would be good but what will we barbecue?." "A dog!" he answered quickly. My mind was racing. Dog meat. Ha. It is delicious. I was excited when I heard him saying this. It had been five years since I had ate dog meat. And that was cooked in a pot. And now we will have it barbecued.
But where was the dog? Upon seeing my confusion, my friend told me his plan. Mr. Zhang had a dog and he would not find out who stole his dog. Mr. Zhang was blind and very old. Its a good idea since we cannot afford to buy a dog.
The dog was killed on an early Sunday morning when the old blind man was still asleep in bed. After cleaning the dog we took it to a hill, made a rock, set a fire, and placed it on the rock. It was cooked until well done. Although no spices were added it was delicious.
Two days later, my father said to me, "What a pity! Someone stole the blind man's dog and killed it. The remains were found on the hill. It is just like breaking his legs."
How I was ashamed of my conduct. The dog was the blind man's guiding light. He depended on it. But I had broken it off. I must make an apology but I dare not. He would never forgive me, I thought.
One year passed. The blind man's health was getting bad. He had since gotten another dog but it was of no help to him. He had to be in the bed all day and all night. I could not have peace anymore. I still could not endure telling the truth. I decided to make an apology, though I thought it would probably be to late.
To my surprise he smiled after hearing my confession of the truth. With a smile on his face he said "Was it good tasting? Take good care of your dog." As he said this he looked at the dog lying by the foot of the bed.
My father told me that the blind man knew the truth just the day after the dog was killed. He had asked my father not to scold us. He had hoped to get an apology from us who assumed no one knew the truth. Now he got it. He wanted to give the dog to me for a memory. Now I understood his words "Take good care of your dog."
Tears puddled in my eyes












































SUPERIOR RELATIONSNo one is independent in life. We depend on others right from our birth till our death. Every person, no matter how big or small he is a stepping stone to our success. Remember, "A single flower does not make a garland." UNTIRING EFFORTSIt is a universal law that we cannot get something for nothing. Efforts is the price one has to pay to succeed in life. Abundant supply of energy comes from a healthy body. Denial or excess of any of the three important needs, eating, mating and sleeping affects our health and happiness. Remember "Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" CREATIVE THINKINGAll of us are gifted with a lot of creative potential. But it lies deep. Just as the sculptor has to chip away some stone with his chisel to release the statue hidden in a block of stone, we have to chip away some of our conventional thinking to release our creative potential. Remember "If you continue to do what you have been doing, you will continue to get only that you have been getting." CONFIDENT ATTITUDEA talented man without confidence is like a powerful car without spark plugs. Confidence is a psychological steroid that boosts our power. Remember, "The man who wins is the man who thinks he can" EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONPublic Speaking is the springboard to effective speech. It gives you a lot of courage and confidence and earns respect and admiration from the society. It makes our speech lively, interesting, and convincing. Remember, Poets are born; Orators are made," SELF MOTIVATIONA 12 year old boy lifter a fallen log from the legs of his father, Four men could barely move it later on. There are many similar cases on record in which unbelievable feats have been accomplished, Once the mind is seeded with a goal, it soars to its magnificent heights to accomplish the goal. Remember, "It is a small seed that grows into a huge tree." SHARP MEMORYMemory is a yardstick to measure the capacity utilisation of our brain. The secret of sharp memory lies in systematic storage that facilitates instant retrieval. Everyone of us can have a sharp memory irrespective of age, education and intelligence. Remember, "If you don’t use it, you will soon lose it"
( Courtesy: http://www.inneruniverse.com )



Stress is nothing but excessive reaction of the body to certain incidents which we face in our day-to day life. Physiologically, more amounts of adrenaline secretion take place in our body and it has got abnormal negative effects, not only on our thinking, but also on our health.Effects of stress on our health:1. We take more amounts of food, without our knowledge, to appease our mind.2. Indirectly it leads to overweight and further to obesity, which in turn leads to diseases like –diabetes, hypertension and heart ailments, etc.3. There is every chance of developing vitamin deficiency in the stress situations.How to deal with stress?These are 10 simple things to get relief from stressful life.1. Doing exercises regularly, this keeps the particular individual in happy and active mood throughout the day. Treadmill exercise removes the stress from the body through sweat and it is more useful in winter season.2. Spare and spend at least some time in the morning sun-shine and the sun-rays of that period remove the stress miraculously.3. Spend as much time as possible among your favorite friends. This sort of personal relationship brings immeasurable joy and frees you from stress.4. Take hot-water bath, which removes the heaviness in the head.5. Take and deep respiration which helps the body to take more oxygen through lungs which in turn helps the body to withstand the stress and strain.6. Relax for twenty to thirty minutes whenever you are more under emotional feelings.7. Read the book which you like utmost which acts as an inspiration and enhances your capacity to withstand the stress and strain.8. Speak heart fully with such type of individuals whom you like and adore most and keep them as your role-models.9. Recap the achievements which you obtained till date, by your tireless hard-work and immense faith in your capacity, certainly they provide you with mental-relief.10. Have good food habits and preferably take highly nutritious diet, containing more minerals and vitamins, etc. No junk foods but only fresh vegetables and fruits.Keep faith in God and take life as it comes. Work hard and leave rest to God. He will take care of you.



























Personality Development5 Ways To Stay Focused On Your Goals No matter how excited you are about your business, with so many distractions and things that may be going on in your life, you can easily find yourself losing focus on your goals and what you want to accomplish. Below you will find 5 things that will help you stay focused on your goals.FINISH WHAT YOU STARTEDYou probably have heard the saying, "So many things to do and not enough time to do them." Even though that may be true, you still have to complete them all, especially if these things help you to reach your goals. To make it easier for you, just take 1 thing you have to do and complete that task until it is done. When it is done, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and it will motivate you to move on to your next task.ORGANIZE TO MAKE THINGS EASY AND SIMPLETake a moment to put things in order. If people write to you or send you orders in the mail, make 3 piles. Put the letters that need to be answered right away in the 1st pile. Letters that can be answered at a later date you can put in the 2nd pile and letters that have orders in them, you can put in the 3rd pile. Doing things like this in other areas of your life will help you keep things in priority and keep you focused on your goals.CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGSIf you find yourself at times having a negative attitude, you must realize that the way you look at things can make all the difference when it comes to reaching your goals. Even when obstacles stand in your way, maintaining a positive attitude, not a negative one and knowing that things can and will get better, will help you stay on track in reaching your goals.UNDERSTAND GOALS WILL TAKE TIME TO REACHEverything in life, if it is worth it, will take time. This goes for the goals you set for yourself. When you set goals, you should set 2 types of goals. A short term goal such as 6 months and also a long range goal, such as 3 years. You must realize that you are not going to reach your long term goals in 2 weeks. Whatever your goals may be, only through hard work, determination and keeping yourself focused, this is the way you will eventually reach your goals.STUDY AND READ ARTICLES ON MOTIVATIONReading articles, books or even listening to cassette tapes on motivation is a must if you want to keep yourself focused on your goals. Many successful people will tell you that even when they wanted to give up and throw in the towel, a paragraph in a book or something a motivational speaker said put them back on the right track and helped them reach their goals. So if you want to stay focused on your goals, take these 5 points and put them into action today.Can You Hear Yourself Lead? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Do you find days turning into weeks, which turn into years and suddenly you're not sure where it's all gone? Does it seem like your no longer navigating your own life but your life and your schedule are navigating you instead? Can you hear yourself lead? If this describes you, stop. Just stop. Stand still, be still, and let yourself remember what the silence feels like. So often in the world we call business, we go so fast we lose our ability to keep up when, in fact, keeping up is impossible. Simply put, if you're caught up, you're out of business. Business is the competitive pull and push that can kick our navigational system clean out of whack. To get back in control, you have to stop and listen.We are taught to listen to everyone else. That listening is the greater asset. However, we are never taught to listen to ourselves. Creativity dies in the face of too much noise. Without creativity everything in your life suffers, including your business. Sometimes the most important person to listen to is ..you. Yes, you have something to say but if you never stop to listen you won't ever get back to navigating again. So here's what you can do to put yourself back in the driver's seat :1. Start the day by emptying your emotions into a journal. Let all the emotional garbage out on paper. Now, don't read it. Ever. Too hard to do? Rip it up and throw it away. This is just a tool to get the frustrations processed and out of your life so you can move on. So you can hear yourself think again. Sometimes our lives get filled up with everyone else's chatter. This helps us empty that out. 2. Take 15 minutes out of the middle of your day and rest. Just stop everything. Go to a room; take off the phone, the fax, the instant messenger and the ringer on your email. Find a place where you won't be bothered and stop. Take ten deep breaths. Let your mind empty. Try to spend at least five minutes of the fifteen thinking of nothing. Don't laugh, it's really hard to do. Think of nothing. Empty your brain and give your soul a rest. 3. Walk. Walking doesn't just exercise your body, it relaxes your soul. Walk with a friend, or walk alone, but walk. This isn't about exercise, it's about letting your mind breath, outside, in the rain, in the sun, in the snow..in the fresh air. It works! 4. Okay, this is the most important. At the end of the day, spend another 15 minutes writing down all the advice that was given to you today. All those noteworthy, seemingly wise bits of advice that get hurled at us everyday. It doesn't matter where they came from, a book, a phone call, a radio station.. doesn't matter. If you can remember it write it down. Now read them all. Do any of them feel adverse to your own feelings and thoughts? Great, cross them out and forget them. Learn to trust that some things will work for you and some things won't. Once you have learned this principle you will find yourself getting back into the drivers seat of your own life again. Remember you're important too and you are the only one that lives the results and consequences of your own life. Be gentle with yourself and take the time to take the time. Suddenly hours will screech back to normal speed, life will feel worth the effort, and your goals will be realized again. CONFIDENCE --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Every day is a new day in our life. There is much to do today. The early morning sun inspires us to start things freshly and put back our past. Only a handful of us make use of this fresh bunch of energy. In various walks of life this affects the way we behave and our confidence level. Confidence is a key to survive in this world. It is the only key tool to win the rat race in every walk of life. Confidence in ones own capabilities combined with sincere efforts helps one to achieve unthinkable heights. But many times we see that this basic element of confidence is missing in us. As a result of lack of confidence we perform well below our caliber. Be it in a public speech, proposing your beloved, vivas in your college or in an interview or say even on the eve before your exams. This can be due to fear of being rejected or any other reason.If we look into our hearts and think, we will come to know that fear inside us is going to get us nowhere. The confidence inside us is going to take us places. This is because with confidence we can put our thoughts into words in a better and pleasing way. So we have to get out of that shell where we think whether people will accept us as we are? Instead of living in these unending moments of fear and thoughtless analysis it is better if we project ourselves with the skills we have with the gloss of confidence. With confidence we can portray the finer points of our personality in such a way that the places where we do lack are never highlighted. Confidence should glow in us only till the point where our personality is boosted. Above this it leads to over-confidence that is harmful. Over confidence results in unsatisfied performance levels as the seed of ego grows into a plant into our mind. We then imagine and make big talks just to maintain our ego. So guys don't let the seed of ego to germinate in your mind, as this seed should be used only for you to live up to your expectations. Confidence is all about being cool, calm and composed. So guys do u have it in you? If u think u don't, boost up yourselves as your mind is your greatest mentor .You are your greatest helper Different Strokes Of Our Duties --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Life teaches us to live. To live, you have to exist. To exist, you should have a passport to this living world. Thanks your parents, who brought you into this world.Parents have taken care of us and satisfied all our needs. They helped whenever we were hungry, afraid or ill. They were always there by you, whenever you needed them. You almost assumed that they will always be there for you and never thought of how your life would be without them. But as you grow up, age also catches up with your parents and they need your help and support. Man is a child first, after which he attains his youth. After youth he again goes through the second phase of childhood, also called as old age. This is the phase where everyone needs a comfort of a sense of belonging and being taken care of. Wouldn't we all expect the same sense of security when we grow old? Even our parents are expecting us to be their caretaker, as they grow old. But they never make that obvious to us. They do their further duty by taking care of their grandchildren, paying e-bills, giving the clothes for laundry etc. Isn't it unfair on our part that we aren't giving them what they need the most? It is our prime duty to take the very best care of them. It's our pay back time. Lets give the same sense of emotional security, care and love to our parents in their old age. Some of us mistreat our parents and consider them more of a liability than an asset. Some of us move away from them, though our conscience pricks us. We err in our duties for not being dutiful. This guilty feeling is further wrapped into a sense of regret, when we will be treated in the same way by our future generation. After all you only get what you deserve. Don't you?Let's keep in mind that to be a manager, husband or father, we first have to be a son. MOTIVATE YOURSELF --------------------------------------------------------------------------------One of the greatest virtues of human beings is their ability to think and act accordingly. The emergence of the techno savvy man from the tree swinging ape has really been a long journey. This transition has taken a span of countless centuries and lots of thinking caps have been involved. Inquisitiveness and aspiration to come out with the best have been the pillars for man's quest for development. Self-motivation is the sheer force, which pulled him apart and distinguished him from his primitive ancestors. Many times, in our life, when we are reviving old memories we get into a phase of nostalgia. We feel that we could have done better than what we had achieved. Be it thinking about that nerve shattering school result, because of which you couldn't get into your favorite stream or that single mark, which could have secured you a merit seat in your engineering college. But thinking back wont rewind the tireless worker called time. All we can do is promise ourselves that we will give our very best in the future. But do we really keep up to our mental commitments? I can guess that 90% answers are in the negative. This is because of that creepy careless attitude which is slowly, but surely entering into the mind of teenagers like us. We easily forget the pains of yesterday to relish the joys of today. This is the only time in our life, when we can control our fate, by controlling our mind. So it is time to pull up our socks and really motivate ourselves so that we can give our best shot in the future. Self-motivation is the need of the hour. Only we can control and restrict ourselves. Its upto us, how we use our mental capabilities to the best of our abilities. Here are some Funda's for self-motivation. Don't just read them digest each one of them and apply them and I bet it will make a better YOU. The ultimate motivator is defeat. Once you are defeated, you have nowhere to go except the top. Then only thing stopping you is yourself. There is no guarantee that tomorrow will come. So do it today. Intentions don't count, but action's do. Don't let who you are, stunt what you want to be. Success is the greatest motivator. Your goals must be clear, but the guidelines must be flexible.
Try to include these one liners in your scrapbook or on your favorite poster. You will be sub-consciously tuned to achieve what you want. Also do keep in mind that nothing can control your destiny but you! The Power Of Expressions --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Expressions are a way of giving some life to the thoughts and feelings inside us. When you cry, u express sadness and disappointment. When you catch a good joke, you laugh a lot and express the pleasure. Expressions are a part and parcel of every human being on this earth. Every person has the right to express himself. It is only through expressions that one can achieve a harmony between the physical exterior and the mental core. It is a way of giving life to your thoughts and feelings. But not everyone expresses freely. The main reasons are the barriers we have created within ourselves. We always think of what the world would think of us. Because of this we restrain ourselves from laughingly completely, tilting our head, or even scratching our ears! We try to be not what we are, but what we think will appeal to the world. Hardly do we realize that the world is just like us. It will be busy thinking of what we will think of it, rather than analyzing our actions. When one expresses one self freely, it's the ultimate satisfaction for the mind. This is because the physical hardware of the human body is faithfully supporting its mental software. The person then is always comfortable anywhere with anyone and at anytime! If one doesn't express properly, it wont make the sun rise in the west, but it will only lead to increased frustrations. When frustrations increase, efficiency decreases and a person starts blaming the world, god or anyone in general. Well to practically speak of expressions, once you start using them in your normal day to day life, u will get used to them. Also people around you will get used to your expressions. When the doyen of Indian film industry Mr. Amitabh Bachchan came into the movies, he had one eye smaller than the other. He however carried on without being self conscious about it and captured the heart of countless Indians dead and alive. Also Sylvester Stallone, who is the famous Mr. Big Muscles from Hollywood was actually having some mental problems in his childhood. Even now look at his eyes and you will get a rare glimpse. But then he came above all that and now you can all see how big he has become. If you are angry at some one, let him know. If you admire someone, let that person know. If you love someone, let her know, because life is too short to keep these things as secret. Express yourself and spice up your life. Watch Out Before You Speak --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Communication in any form is used for exchange of information. The links called words make communication work. Without words its difficult to imagine how we could have come so long in the history of human evolution. Word is not only a 4-letter thing, but it is something deeper than that. Whenever a word is uttered it is due to synchronization of lip movement and tongue movement. To get out that word from our mouth, a lot of thinking and analysis has been happening in our sub conscious mind. We don't realize it because all this happens in less than one millionth of a second. Most of the times we don't think over what we have uttered. Word is not only a link, but it initiates response from the listener. The word, which we have uttered, acts on every part of the listener's body. Like if u share a joke using a group of words, u make the listener to laugh. He may pound his hands and fist and then calm down. The very word which u have uttered has allowed him to flush his emotions out in the form of laughter or smile. If you talk about a tragic incident, the listener may close his eyes for a second and offer his condolences. Words uttered vibrate on the mind of the listener. It acts on his mind. Selection and thought prior to communication is very important. Sometimes we say things which we shouldn't have or we carelessly utter unwanted words (mind you I am not talking of abuses). These things may affect the other person emotionally and mentally. For us it would have been just a matter of second to wag our tongue, but for the listener it is going to be the only thing at the back of his mind. By using unwanted words or speaking more than necessary, we not only hurt someone, but we also add a spot of dust to our social image. Your future interaction with the person may be based on that single word. Using proper words while talking is just like selecting the items listed out by your mom from the supermarket. You select the best brand from the specific domain, where your item is found. So guys watch before you speak because the actions of the listener may be louder than your words!