Exam Tips

The Fine Art of Writing an Exam This Article was strongly edited/modified by my good friend “N.Thamizhvaanan”.Any grammatical errors/complaints may be attributed to him and compliments/homages/donations may be forwarded to me. J I got inspiration to write this piece, the day I finished my CAM(Computer Aided Manufacturing Exam).Should my professor decide to sit down and read the intricate details provided by me as to why DNC systems are preferred to CNC systems, I am sure he can convert it into some sort of a bollywood movie script. If you read my paper closely, I am sure you will notice something about fairies and talking lions in there. Pre-requisites Don't worry; there is nothing that will take more than a few minutes of your "Oh! So busy" schedule. Just a few minor tips that will let you laze around till the 13th hour before you decide to do something about the exam next day. I know people tell you that you must relax before an exam and there are even more weird people who say stuff like relax the day before an exam. Had I followed such advice, I would have definitely failed at least 70% of my exams. The key to success ( I mean Pass) is PANIC. Panic at least two hours before the exam and get the adrenalin flowing. By doing this you make sure that you cram in as much data as you could have slogged throughout the semester. As I was saying, the 2-3 hours prior to the exam must be spent with a person who has finished the syllabus the previous day. Pester him with frequent doubts, as obvious as they may be, but still ask, even though he says he's gotta do some zillionth revision (some weird people do that). Listen to all the important topics, remember topics (VERY IMPORTANT!),remember keywords, they help in making you look like you have actually read through the book . Any graphs, simple diagrams and flow charts must be vaguely remembered. Don't forget to remember what the X and Y axes symbolize. Crunch Time Here is where you put in all your effort. There are a large number of ways of distracting the examiner from finding out that there actually isn't anything worth grading in this paper (well, there is a very fine line that separates forgery and writing an examination ). Active and Passive voice The most powerful English tool in writing an exam. If you are fortunate enough to know even a single point in a given question. It can be converted to 2 sentences with ease and if you are determined enough a whole paragraph. Example? The primary advantage with CNC systems is that they don't have a tape reader which increases efficiency and doesn't need skilled labour. The lack of a tape reader in CNC systems not only ensures better performance but also ease of operation. You could also insert another sentence in between the above examples just so that it doesn't get too obvious, should the examiner choose to actually sit down and make sense of your answer (the probability of that is as much as you actually sitting and studying for the exam, so I think you are safe) . Make sure that the extra line carries a word atleast from the question or sub-heading title. Use the name of the subject if you know neither of them . This is called contextual answering. VERY IMPORTANT. Colourful Presentation Get yourself a Blue pen and a Black pen.(or any colour from within visual spectrum that exists as a pen in this planet.).Keep writing your stories in blue and every now and then there will be one or two keywords that you will remember that is actually part of the given topic. This is where you pull out your black pen and insert it between your blue lines. This method maybe used effectively in conjunction with the above "Active and Passive Voice" method. Make sure you write different keywords in Black in your passive sentence. It maybe a little time consuming but it will usually ensures that your prof. doesn't really read the stories that you have written and added to this it gives the prof a false sense of security that you have studied something. Flow Charts-Graphs-Diagrams A Picture is worth a thousand words. This phrase, our wise ancestors framed purportedly for exam writing. Make sure that you are sure of your graph is correct because it is easier to spot a mistake in a flow chart or graph rather than in a huge paragraph. Hence make sure you are familiar with all the basic flow charts, graphs and diagrams in the given syllabus. Make some passing reference to the keywords that we talked about earlier. (Note: Diagrams are good source of keywords, so studying diagram helps in more than one way.) Draw it Big-Preferably occupying at least half the page Draw it Neat-Use one of those lead pencils Label it properly If possible come up with unnecessary supporting stuff like legend, scale etc. Explain what you are going to draw in a paragraph before the diagram and what you have drawn in another paragraph after the diagram. Atleast four sides of your answer sheet should have been filled by now Don't follow the point system (neglect the fact that I've bulletted the points that I mentioned above. Those are exceptions) Never write only points. Even if, by the grace of god or by a sudden stroke of madness, you have studied for an exam and want to write only points. DON'T DO IT . Make sure you have written something below. Eg:- Point No. 4-No Friction Reduces Wear Primarily, Friction will cause wear but when we make use of the following component. There is a drastic drop in dynamic and static friction, resulting in reduced wear compared to the wear with more friction! Fill the darned answer sheet. One among the thumb rules of the art of exam writing. Always believe that you can guess your way to the right answer. A good student(or should I say a good “Exam Writer”) should be able to write volumes of pages of answer without illuminating a speck of his profound ignorance of the subject. And if all else fails, the keywords desert you, you suspect you've got one of those "Hard disk not found" kinda memory failure and the superviser after repeated pestering, convinces you that the question paper is indeed for the right subject and not misplaced and you wish the ground would open up and eat you alive, there is PLAN B. This is often attacked on ethical grounds, but almost everyone does it and even the few who don't do it are not doing it more so for the fear of consequences rather than any ethical grounds. OH! Did I forget to mention what this method is? COPYING Even though COPYING is unchartered territory for me (*Cough Cough*), I do know some people who do indulge in such "APPALING" activities. Even though I don't condone such behaviour, it must be accepted that copying is an art unto itself. Copying is broken down into 3 primary categories Copying from the guy near you Copying from some prepared document (usually prepared by you) Copying from Text book It is usually a combination of all of the above methods but quite often you come across the person who solely depends on the other guy and doesn't even take the initiative to follow the more arduous second path. That's just plain lazy.(*Looks around nervously*) Copying from someone near you In this age of Telecommunications, students still rely upon primordial ways of Data Transfer from one person to the other which varies from rudimentary vocal communication to sophisticated cryptic body language and every other possible type of communication except anamolous communications. (a).Sound Waves This is basically orally asking your doubts to any person who is in a one bench radius (Left, Right, Front, Back, Diagonal…doesn't matter really). If you are desperate enough you could try a 2 bench radius, but this usually back fires as even the even the examiner hears your question and comes to you to give a fitting reply. Make sure that when you are asking the question your mouth is clearly facing the person because quite often ,you will look in front and ask something to the guy behind you and you don't really have to be Einstein to figure out that sound wont make a "U" turn and a subsequent left turn into your friends ear. You must also ENUNCIATE. Many a times I have seen a guy literally mumble something to himself and then crib later that he didn't get help. This method is time consuming and quite often wastes a lot of time of both the copier and the "copiend" (The guy who assists in copying, Yay! New Word). This method also preferred by the Ethical lot in the class. There is always the option of just asking a small doubt which is more or less like the "Open Sesame" of their brains. He looks left, he looks right and then left again( you would think he is crossing a busy highway), and then sudden strike "Dai, what does the "O" stand for in LOM(Laminated Object Modelling). I barely say ”Obje..”. And he goes something like "Ok ok ok! Got it, Got it!" . Hmmm, works for him. He needs just a word to strike upon the entire answer, whereas in my case, all I know is that one word . (b).Paper Hanging No, this is not death penalty for paper. If you are blessed with relatively good eye sight, you could ask the guy in front of you to hang the paper on the side of his table. This method is very effective as it doesn't really need your partner to worry about paper getting lost and it also has a quick retraction system should the professor start walking towards you. Make sure that the guy in front of you writes big. And no, you shouldn’t bring binoculars to exam because i)I am pretty sure that they are not allowed ii) they are too obvious (c)Paper Passing Slightly risky, but will avoid a lot of wastage of time in asking doubts. It involves the passing of the answer paper of the guy, either behind you or in front of you. Beware, this is a very common source of passing mistakes from one fools paper to some other moron's paper. Thats because we normally tend to switch of our brains (that is the default state) while copying from answer sheet. Unless both the copier and copiend is calm, things could get a little ugly should the professor start walking up towards you. For those of you who just don't have the guts to pass paper, there is also an effective alternative. Question Paper Passing All you have to do, is get the guy to write major points behind the question paper and exchange the question paper. (Don't just take his question paper and forget to give him a question paper. This can easily lead to getting caught) Copying from some prepared document (usually prepared by you) Prepared document covers a large spectrum. It can be books, Xerox copies of books, hand written bits, drawing boards, personal data written on permitted items in the exam hall, like calculators, data books. Essentially anything that you are allowed to take into the exam hall (which includes yourself). So you can also have stuff written on your body. Yea, we students invented body art too. Each of these concepts have been plagiarized in the film Memento and double plagiarised in the tamil film "Ghajini", wherein the hero writes important details on his body.I am in talks with the Students Federation Of India. We are planning to sue them soon. A good student should maintain perfect symbiosis with his environment. Make use of any object that you can see within your reach. It is within this context, that I am going to explain the next method - The Drawing Board Practice . This may be a practice that is specific to my college but it is one of the most fool proof methods I have witnessed so far. I have never seen a single professor looking at the boards before an exam. Sometimes they come and lift the boards to see if there is any bits underneath the board but will completely ignore to see the stuff written on the board. I don't get it, there is so much data written on the boards and yet no action is taken to either clean the board, punish those who write on it or even make an effort to see if anyone is actually writing on the board. The fact that the boards have at least 9-10 layers of ink, spread out over 3-4decades of their survival makes it really hard for the professor to actually search and detect the data relevant to his subject. Thus making it visible only to the eye of the writer. I am sure the word BIT needs no introduction, basically a very small piece of paper in which you cram in as much detail as possible. Beleived by many to be the precursor to Nanotechnology. Once you are done with that, follow the previous step till you feel confident enough. Another extension of BIT is the Mini-Xerox. It's nothing but your normal Xerox but scaled down to an A8 or A9 paper. Your ability to face embarrassment is tested here when you go to your local Xerox shop(quite often you will make a trip to an alien neighbourhood so that no one recognizes you). You enter the Xerox shop-you wait till it is empty-you call the Xerox guy to the side-quietly ask him for a "mini-xerox"-he will say it will cost you 4 times the normal cost because he will use “special ink"(HAH! The excuses are hilarious)-But you are desperate and say "ok ok, please take it fast". Copying from a text book. Some beleive it is not feasible, but after witnessing several live demonstrations myself, I should say it is damn effective. Make sure you've got one of those "local authors" text book (which is actually a question bank with a mis-spelt title) that are easy to sneak underneath the board and easier to flip through. Make sure you have gone through the book atleast once before the exams. Or else you will keep flipping the pages but never hit upon the right portion. Excuses If you get caught, there is nothing, really that you can do about it. You could try coming up with some excuses but they are all more likely to fail than succeed. Moral: Prevention is better than cure. DONT GET CAUGHT. But just as a backup you could try the following excuses before completely giving up. -Deny point blank that you copied and it was merely a circumstantial coincidence which has made it look like you were copying. -Once you realize that the above excuse holds no water, you could try pleading with the professor. " I met with an accident yesterday" "Life is very tough at home, I am supporting my family" "My uncle passed away yesterday" For some reason, the moment you get caught, you tend to loose all sense of common sense and come up with the most weird excuses. Here is couple of "Brilliant Excuses" that have ever been uttered in my presence. My professor catches one guy with the paper of the guy behind him. He accepts to the crime and gives one of the standard excuses mentioned above. Then he moves onto to the guy who gave him the paper and confronts him and this is where total brilliance of this young man comes out, instead of just accepting it, he goes something like this "Illa sir, kathulla parandhu avanode tablikku poiiduche" That basically means "No sir, the paper flew due to the wind and landed on his table".Even the professor couldn't control him self from laughing and told him there was a limit to bluffing. Another time, this guy writes on the question paper and passes it up front but forgets to take the other guys question paper. The examiner comes and asks him where his question paper is. This guy is totally flabbergasted and looks around desperately and finds a question paper on the next table which was empty, takes that and shows it to the examiner. As luck would have it, the question paper wasn't even the same subject. The hilarity of the situation kind of broke down the tension and the examiner let him off with a warning. So you could try some funny excuses in the hope that he just might start laughing and let you go. If all else fails, you could try playing dead! That round about sums up this article. Even though this report will contain specifics pertaining to Anna Univ. slight modifications can be made to suit schools, colleges, universities all over India. In these 3 years of college studies, my college may not have modelled me into an ideal mechanical engineer, but if there is one thing that I have learnt it is how to write exams. Now, this doesn't really mean I have been acing my exams or anything. Just that I manage to clear all my courses(so far!) with minimum work possible. May you all have a wonderfully lethargic and lazy academic life ahead of you. DISCLAIMER: I hereby declare that details provided above are true only to the best of my friends fictitious imaginations. It has been written for pure entertainment. Any resemblance to anything living or dead is purely coincidental. I would like to reiterate that I am nothing but a innocent bystander and I do not endorse nor recommend any of the techniques of mentioned above. Hopefully that will ward off any law suits that may be flying in at me. If any one has any other fool proof disclaimer please reply with it. I will edit the disclaimer accordingly. Special Thanks to “N.Thamizhvaanan” again. _________________"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams